Monday, August 8, 2011

What a summer it has been! An early vacation was a perfect plan because I doubt we would have been able to take it later. On a lovely day like today in Ohio (only 80 today!) I am reminded of the lovely weather we had at the beach and that pleasant sleepy feeling one gets after lying in the sun for hours. I have to resist the urge to lay down on the sun porch and just listen to the summer sounds and doze off, maybe with a kitty on my tummy.

I haven't been blogging because my thoughts have been consumed by family matters. Nearly lost my mother, got her back and I got my sister back in the process.

Just about 4 weeks ago I had to rush out to New Jersey because my 86 year old mother nearly died after surgery. The day before she had a carcinoma removed from her chin which required plastic surgery to repair the damage. It was after the plastic surgery that she crashed and her oxygen level plummeted. It was a little touch and go for a few days. Such a relief when they were finally able to remove the breathing tube and hear her speak! She asked me if Congress had settled the debt limit situation!!! So like my mom and I just had to laugh out loud.

She stayed in the hospital for a week and then we had to go through the very scary process of selecting a rehab facility, sometimes known as a skilled nursing facility or a sub acute care facility. We ended up choosing one that my sister had worked at previously. She is a physical therapy assistant and has worked in many nursing homes.

Man, what an eye opener that was. To think of placing my mother in some of these places had me breaking down in tears many times. Is this what life comes to? Why does it have to be this way?

Thankfully Mom has rallied and most likely will be released from rehab this week. We don't think she should stay at home any longer though and we (my sister and my brothers and I) are trying to find an assisted living facility for her. Even though my sister lives with my mom, she is not able to give her the amount of care that my mom now needs. It's something that has been coming and we are glad we are going to be able to make this change.

I think we have found the right place and it's only a 5 minute drive from her home!  It's a good feeling to know that she liked it and she is going to visit again to make sure it is the right place for her. There is so much work left to be done...a house to clean and prep for sale, figuring our her finances so she will be able to pay for the assisted living and all the other complicated issues that come with growing old.

And what did I mean by getting my sister back? For years we have been estranged for many reasons. It's complicated when an adult sibling lives with a parent...there are many confusing issues. The relief of mom pulling through and hearing her talk was what caused my sister to say she didn't want to fight anymore and tears and hugs followed. We spent many hours together while I was in NJ. I don't know how we possibly could have done it otherwise. She will be bearing the brunt of the changes that will take place and I feel badly that I am not around to share in the burden. I will return when I can to help out.

So guys, I am back home and working and wanting to pick up my stitching again. I think today will be a perfect day to begin!



15 comments:

Sherry :o) said...

good for you - sounds like your family is on the mend. Sometimes it seems it takes something serious to realize what you want and how you want things to be.

Hope you get time to stitch!

Vicki said...

What a beautiful ending to a stressful situation. Glad you're back home and getting back to normal (whatever that is!)

valerie said...

Thank goodness your mom is ok. It's hard when your parents age. Mine are in their 80's and I worry a lot since I am the closest. Trying to get my siblings to help has been an ordeal. It's nice that you've patched up your relationship with your sister.

Catherine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Catherine said...

Sounds like you've been through the ringer! So glad to hear that your mom is doing better and that it actually helped you and your sister come together! Thoughts and prayers to all of you!

KarenV said...

Sorry your mom has been so ill, but I'm glad to hear that she's pulled through and that you've reconnected with your sister :)

Lisa said...

Sorry to hear that it took an event such as the one you went through for family members to come together. But the outcome was very good...it is strange how things work out...
Take care and enjoy the remaining summer.

Cindy said...

So glad to read your story and see such a happy 'beginning'....I know there will be lots of work ahead for your family, but at least now you will have each other. I am estranged from my youngest daughter and it breaks my heart..I have a feeling it will probably take some major life crisis to bring her around...it makes me feel good to see others finally come together....have a great day!

The Queen Bee said...

Oh Barb, so much has happened this summer.... glad the ending is all good. Also, that your mother is willing to be moved. Sometimes that's an unpleasant choice that is made 'for' instead of 'with' an aging parent.

Wishing you the best with this phase of your mother's aging.

Pam

Carol said...

Your summer sounds just like mine, Barb--almost lost my dad in June... It is so hard to watch our parents age and fail, especially from long-distance. That is wonderful that you were able to reconcile with your sister...that should make the decisions you need to make regarding your mom's care much easier...

The only good thing about my dad's illness is when I go up to NY to visit them, I get to have lunch with Pam :)

mainely stitching said...

WOW, it sounds like you've been through all the emotions lately! I am so glad that you and your sis could reunite, and that your mom will be okay and that you found here such a nice place so near her current home. Hooray! :D

Karoline said...

Glad to hear that your Mother is better and that you've repaired the relationship with your sister

Jeanne said...

I'm happy your mom made it thru and you've reconciled with your sister. These kinds of changes and life events are very very stressful....facing some family issues of my own. Sounds like you all worked together to make the best you could out of the situtation. Hoping the days ahead are better for you.

Pam said...

I am glad to hear that you and your sister have been able to reconcile. Having gone through sister issues of my own, I know that it can be very nice when you are able to work things out and be sisters again. I hope that your mom is happy in the assisted living facility and that her health continues to recover.

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