In the last frantic few days before Christmas I start to lose perspective and all reason goes out the window. I have spent too much (there may be returns to make!) and I get that nervous feeling that I have forgotten something. I didn't get my mom's gift sent out to her and I feel badly about it. I decided to give her a digital photo frame, but began to have second thoughts about it while choosing the photos to upload to it. Is this something she would appreciate or would it be much better to make albums, something I think I will never get around to. I am hoping my siblings will add to the photo frame, but don't know if they will do it.
So I am holding off for a few days, and she'll have a nice late present if I do decide to give it to her. Money seems so impersonal, but I know she really can use it. I am 450 miles away, so there is little that I can do on a day to day basis except to talk on the phone at length, about current events, books that we have read and about life in general. It was difficult growing up our home. Lots of negative stuff with my father mostly. Things are better now, but I pretty much keep my distance from everyone. I don't have strong family connections like so many others do. No big family dinners or parties or reunions. It's just the 4 of us, and now our oldest is away at college and he has decided not to come home over break. That's OK...he is becoming more independent and has found a niche for himself that revolves around school, his friends and mountain biking.
My goal for the next week is to be a better person. No nagging or nit picking allowed!!! Sometimes I don't know how my family stands me :).
Peace and joy to everyone,