What a summer it has been! An early vacation was a perfect plan because I doubt we would have been able to take it later. On a lovely day like today in Ohio (only 80 today!) I am reminded of the lovely weather we had at the beach and that pleasant sleepy feeling one gets after lying in the sun for hours. I have to resist the urge to lay down on the sun porch and just listen to the summer sounds and doze off, maybe with a kitty on my tummy.

I haven't been blogging because my thoughts have been consumed by family matters. Nearly lost my mother, got her back and I got my sister back in the process.

Just about 4 weeks ago I had to rush out to New Jersey because my 86 year old mother nearly died after surgery. The day before she had a carcinoma removed from her chin which required plastic surgery to repair the damage. It was after the plastic surgery that she crashed and her oxygen level plummeted. It was a little touch and go for a few days. Such a relief when they were finally able to remove the breathing tube and hear her speak! She asked me if Congress had settled the debt limit situation!!! So like my mom and I just had to laugh out loud.

She stayed in the hospital for a week and then we had to go through the very scary process of selecting a rehab facility, sometimes known as a skilled nursing facility or a sub acute care facility. We ended up choosing one that my sister had worked at previously. She is a physical therapy assistant and has worked in many nursing homes.

Man, what an eye opener that was. To think of placing my mother in some of these places had me breaking down in tears many times. Is this what life comes to? Why does it have to be this way?

Thankfully Mom has rallied and most likely will be released from rehab this week. We don't think she should stay at home any longer though and we (my sister and my brothers and I) are trying to find an assisted living facility for her. Even though my sister lives with my mom, she is not able to give her the amount of care that my mom now needs. It's something that has been coming and we are glad we are going to be able to make this change.

I think we have found the right place and it's only a 5 minute drive from her home!  It's a good feeling to know that she liked it and she is going to visit again to make sure it is the right place for her. There is so much work left to be done...a house to clean and prep for sale, figuring our her finances so she will be able to pay for the assisted living and all the other complicated issues that come with growing old.

And what did I mean by getting my sister back? For years we have been estranged for many reasons. It's complicated when an adult sibling lives with a parent...there are many confusing issues. The relief of mom pulling through and hearing her talk was what caused my sister to say she didn't want to fight anymore and tears and hugs followed. We spent many hours together while I was in NJ. I don't know how we possibly could have done it otherwise. She will be bearing the brunt of the changes that will take place and I feel badly that I am not around to share in the burden. I will return when I can to help out.

So guys, I am back home and working and wanting to pick up my stitching again. I think today will be a perfect day to begin!

A finish and a new toy

I finished up Mary Garry's Peace sampler last week though I still need to put initials in the lower right hand corner.  I think I will stitch the initials over one and include mine, the husband's and the 2 kids.

Mary Garry Peace Sampler

Weeks 30 count Cappuccino linen

GA Weathered Barn

design size 6 1/2 by 7 1/2

The past few days I have been pretty tired from working odd hours and busy with the miscellaneous tasks of living but I do have some ornaments started.  Just need some wide awake time to stitch!

I also have been distracted by my new toy!  I have been wanting an e-reader and when I was able to get a great deal on this Pandigital reader from Kohl's, I decided to try it.  My employee discount allows me to stack my discounts and with a rebate I just couldn't pass on it.  And no hassle returns folks!  If I decide I don't like it, back it goes!

I do like it though, but I haven't tried any other e-readers.  The screen is a bit too gray in dim light but works great with bright light.  It has wireless but I would never use it for the internet unless absolutely necessary.  I have downloaded 3 library books so far and it's a piece of cake.  I haven't purchased any books yet and that wasn't my goal anyway.  I love that I can "go to the library" and get them for free!  You do have to put books on a waiting list most times but that's OK.  Just download the books to Adobe Digital Editions, plug in the reader and transfer the book!

I am presently reading Cakewalk: A Memoir by Kate Moses and I finished The Kids Are All Right by Diana Welch (no, not the movie but same title).  These are both autobiographical.  I seem to be attracted to books about dysfunctional families (are all families a little bit nuts?).  It must be because of my quest to figure out my own family and trying to reconcile some of the crazy stuff that happened growing up.  It makes me feel better to know that I was not alone in my suffering, that there were other angry fathers out there and baffled overworked mothers.  By the time I was 12 years old I had lived in 5 different states and at least 6 different houses.  Moving around was not a good thing for a shy little girl like me and I don't think it was good for any of the 6 children!

Off to the bank...I think DD overdrafted her debit account.  As all moms of teenagers know, making the mistake is the best way to learn.  Sometimes we think they know how to manage things and then we find out somehow it went right over their heads when we told them how to do it.

July...and August...oh me oh my, where does the time go?

The longer I neglect this blog, the harder it is to get back into it!  This sentiment was just echoed by Lee but she has only been away for 10 days and I've been away for what, almost 2 months?  Mostly it's been my lack of stitching which has kept me away since I have so little to show and I've been so preoccupied with family life that I've had trouble "letting go."

I'm playing around with Picnik, hoping that it will solve my photo editing woes.  Photoshop Elements just bogs down my computer and drives me crazy!  Blogging ain't fun when you've got to sit there and wait and wait for a photo to be saved. 

Here's a taste of what we've been up to this summer.

My cozy stitching spot at camp (yes, I did take my Ott light with me)

A little light retro reading at camp

Claire learning how to water ski

Red Hill Firetower, Center Harbor, NH

Keepsake Quilting, Center Harbor, NH

View from the tower, overlooking Lakes Region of New Hampshire

Revolutionary War Cemetary in NJ - my father is buried in the cremation garden

Isn't this a beautiful headstone?

We made a family oriented visit to New Hampshire and New Jersey.  Lots of changes in both places, some very stress inducing.  I wouldn't really call these visits vacation, but we did enjoy seeing everyone and relaxing at the lake place, which we call camp, for a few days.  

And last, but certainly not least, we are officially empty nesters, at least for awhile!  We dropped Claire off at  Miami U a week ago.  We were all disappointed by her room and my response from residence life was a suggestion to remove the shelving from the desks so that the desks could be backed up to the wall.  They do not fit under the slanted ceiling! They are going to bunk their beds so that they gain a little more space but the desks will have to remain where they are.  Crazy.  But Claire seems to be enjoying herself and I know she is keeping very busy with her studies.   She lives right across from the fabulous rec center and the ice arena.  The location is perfect for her. 

The cramped and dark dorm room.  Boo.

  

I promise, really I do, that stitching pics will soon follow.  I've been on this blasted computer way too long!

Thank you all for your very kind and sympathetic comments.  I really really appreciated each and every one!

My flight out to NH went very smoothly.  No delays whatsoever.  Some of the people on my flight had been stranded overnight, so I felt lucky not to be one of them.  Flying is great when all goes well, otherwise...

Many old friends came to pay their respects on Saturday.  Her old house was many times a gathering place for my husband, his brothers and their many childhood friends.  Till the end of Glennis's life some of those childhood friends were still stopping by to spend time with her.  Amazing.

Their were stories about her picking up kids hitchhiking around town, her infamous Whoopie Pies, the decorated birthday cakes for the boys, and her kind and easy going spirit.  Glennis was not a complex person and lived a simple but rich life.  She and her husband were able to travel to many far away places.  She loved to swim in the lake where they owned a summer place.  I bet it was hard for her being the only girl amongst 4 men, but she held her own.  One of my favorite memories of her was when she was lost in a fit of giggles once when we playing Trivial Pursuit.  She wasn't playing, but she couldn't resist yelling out the answers!  We had a blast that night. 

I'll leave you with a photo of the back of our house taken after we returned.  We didn't just have icicles, we had this crazy mass of ice that formed on the brick from water dripping behind the gutter.  It was huge!  It fell down in one big whoosh, scaring the daylights out of me!  I am sure we need to do something to prevent this from happening again.  And I hear snow and rain are in our forecast once again!

a little knitting, a little stitching

I am one sorry excuse for a blogger!  That's why I have the "blogging without obligation" gadget LOL.

I've been knitting!  I'm making an baby sweater for one of my managers at work who is due very soon.  I'm pretty sure she will appreciate something handmade since she majored in fashion design in college.  Everytime I knit a sweater I swear I'll never do it again and then proceed to try just one more time.  At least with a baby sweater fit is not so important.  There will be a lot of sewing to do though, something I am not crazy about.  I still need to finish the left front, the sleeves and the neckband.

I also stitched up this Prairie Schooler santa and I'm not sure how I want to finish it yet.  It's stitched on 18 count Floba, a fabric I really like to use for Prairie Schooler designs.  It's got a simple homespun quality about it. 

We've had our fair share of small triumphs and setbacks here in our little household lately.  DS seems to be buckling down (fingers crossed) and working hard at school.  I'm finding that an art major can spend quite a bit on supplies!  DD was accepted at the 5 colleges she applied too but hasn't figured out which one she wants to attend.  4 of the schools are in Ohio and 1 in Indiana.  We'll wait to see what the numbers add up to and make a few visits before she commits.  I am so excited for her...it's almost as if I'm going off to school, not her!  A severe case of senior-itis has set in though and this last semester will be rough for her.

My MIL is now in hospice care and Mark has been with her in New Hampshire for the past 5 days.  We don't expect her to live through the week...it's just a waiting game now.  I may have to hop on a plane and head out there later this week.  Her birthday is in 12 days, her 91st.  Mark and his brother have been by her side for many many hours lately and did the right thing by moving her from a nursing home to the hospice facility.

Hoping we don't get a lot more snow in the next couple of days!   I have been spoiled by a man who loves snow and always does all the shoveling.  I sure do appreciate it.

Cat in the frying pan

Now that I've captured your attention, let me explain lest you think we are having cat for dinner.  Let me introduce Noodles.  She was Hawaii born and bred and had a need for warmth so she would camp out in this old cast iron pan over the pilot light.  This photo was taken about 25 years ago in the duplex DH and I shared not long after we started dating.  Noodles lived a long life of 20 years.  She was deaf and we actually had to have her ears trimmed away because of ulcers.  Her skin was very sensitive and she loved the sun!

I bought a scanner for the family for Christmas so that we can convert pages and pages of slides that we have and came upon this pic.  We plan to scan lots of old slides from Mark's parents and put them on cd's for everyone.  It make take awhile, but if we scan a little everyday it should be doable. 

I sat down to post last night and ended up spending way too much time fiddling around with the blog.  Tried a 3 column template but some of my gadgets didn't work right so went back to minima.  All that wasted time!  I like my new background though. 

Life in retail is slowing a bit but people are still returning massive amounts of merchandise.  People overbuy, then pick and choose what they want to give as gifts and then return the rest later.  It's always kind of a letdown in a way when we go from crazy busy to the slow times of January and February.  We are all scrambling for hours so that the paychecks aren't too pathetic, though they are even when we have lots of hours LOL.  I finally have weeks with 2 days off in a row and one week with 3 days off!  I have ambitious plans to paint a room and do some other household type stuff.

I was so tired during the holiday madness that I didn't stitch much.  I'm working on Prairie Schooler's 2009 santa now (the one with the skates!).  I'll post pics when it actually looks like something recognizable. But I did manage to finish up an ornie for my wonderful friend Lee.  Here is the pic that I stole from her website since I completely forgot to photograph it before mailing it.  I had a lot of fun stitching this, especially since it was going to Lee.

DH is a nut.  We scrambled to replace our daughter's totaled car so that we wouldn't have car sharing issues and then he decides he will walk the almost 4 miles to work.  Yesterday, in the snow, he rode his bike.  Go figure.  We did find a good little car (a Honda CR-V) for Claire but now she is really timid about driving in all this snow.  There is always a bit of anxiety when choosing a used car.  We came upon this nicely priced CR-V at the Honda place just up the road.  It has many miles on it but they had put lots of money into it to bring it up to snuff and and it is bright and shiny.  Hope that Honda's reputation for long lasting cars proves to be true.

Thank you for visiting!  It really means a lot to me.

Black ice, books and a good afternoon

Had a fine afternoon last week when Lee dropped by before picking up her daughter at college. We went for lunch at a local downtown restaurant and then poked around the Gallery in the Vault next door. Neither of us bought anything but I was a tiny bit tempted. There are shops like this in our downtown but I rarely go in them just because I know I will never buy anything. I don't yearn much for stuff anymore. I suppose if I had the money I would buy a different house and decorate it to my heart's content, but the focus now is on college funding (new parents out there...think wisely and save) and retirement. These kinds of places are great for buying gifts though.

Lee brought us some yummy yummy buckeyes, knowing that my husband is a peanut butter freak. We have all indulged. We keep slicing off little bits so that it doesn't feel like we are pigs. Lee...there are still 2 left! Thank you for the treat!

My poor daughter had a car accident on Sunday. She has only had her car (her first car, paid for by herself) for 1 1/2 months. She was driving home from spending the night at her friend's house and hit a patch of black ice and lost control and slid into a pole. The airbag went off so I guess the impact was pretty hard. She's OK but the car is totaled and she is very sad. It was hard for her to stop crying that day and every time she thinks about it she gets upset. I am thankful that she wasn't hurt and that she thinks she was only going maybe 25 miles an hour.

We have already heard from our insurance company and thank goodness I had gotten the collision insurance and it turns she is getting back more money than she paid for the car. Now we just have to decide if another car will be a possibility. Just a few more gray hairs for dear old mom and dad.

I love the work of the writer Abigail Thomas. I found this cute story by her at the Oprah website. I picked up her book A Three Dog Life last summer on the discount table at Borders and was so glad I did. Sometimes you just find someone that puts your own thoughts into words and it feels so good to know there is someone else out there that thinks and feels like you do. Here is her website.

Ouch!

A few weeks ago I signed up for a Pilates class at the place where I exercise. Somewhere along the way it got changed to something called Pilates "Fusion". Pilates on Tuesdays, yoga on Thursdays. I did not want yoga...I signed up for Pilates. Now there is a very tender spot in my back from all the weird twists and turns from the yoga class. You want me to do what???

The instructor was telling us what to do as we did it, without the benefit of watching her first. Do you know how hard it is to watch someone while trying to maintain the downward facing dog pose? When it came to the yoga style push up I pretty much said no, I can't do it. I eventually tried and did manage to get a little way down. I don't know if I'm going back because I can't afford to hurt my back right now. I think I will take a Pilates class somewhere else.

I've been trying to keep consistent with my stitching, but there were a few days this week that I didn't pick up a needle. That's OK, I'm making progress on Bitter Flower and looking forward to the next project and maybe an ornie or two.

I gave up one of my responsibilities at work this week. I made a mistake (not a big one in my eyes but it made a few people unhappy) and the criticism that followed put me in a funk. I don't like to be a quitter, but my goal right now in life is to focus on family and home and finding peace in life...I don't need the stress. Retail is very stressful right now. They have us doing multiple tasks at one time and at the same time maintaining that ever cheerful and helpful demeanor. I can do that most of the time but when I have to work 6-7 hours without getting a break, that kind of puts me over the edge.

I have always felt very insecure in my working life. Even being well educated doesn't always prepare one for the real world environment. I never have felt worthy enough to go back to a job in science and therefore have taken the jobs that are the easiest to come by. Low pay and not much satisfaction.

Thank God for my dear husband, who has stood by me through all my ups and downs and has been in the same job for 30 years. I know he itches to retire but is sticking with it until our kids are out of college (unless we win the lottery!). He never complains, even when it's 90 degrees outside and he is working 7 days a week. A good man.

Thanks for stopping by!

Will we ever see the sun again???

It's been nothing but rainy and or cloudy for days here. I love fall but please, this is a bit too much. Tomorrow there may be sunshine, but then the forecast is rain or cloudy. We need to get the outside painting done!

Painting aside, the weather is great for getting cozy with the cats and stitching, but not for picture taking. I've been working on BOAF Bitter Flower. The WDW overdyed flosses have been a pain this go round, especially the brown and green. They don't even have any variation in the color. I could have used DMC. Now I see that I'm running out of floss and need to find somewhere to pick it up. There is a sale at a store in Canton but I don't see how I'll have the time to get over there.

Speaking of sales, and as you know, I love a good sale, but when I began to price things at Traditional Stitches, I found that I wouldn't really be saving much, if any. I really had the itch to buy stuff! Since I work in retail, one thing I know for sure is that the lowest prices of the season are not necessarily the lowest prices of the season (LPS) and that there is always another sale right around the corner. I have plenty of stash to choose from anyway. There are a few things from market that have caught my eye, but there are tons of older charts that I want to stitch also.

I realized this morning that there is a needlework showcase in Akron this weekend, combined with a craft show. I was quite impressed by the needlework the last time I attended this show. It's held at Stan Hywet Hall, a lovely house on beautiful grounds. We are supposed to go on a college visit this weekend, but we have been considering not going, so I may have a free day.

Are there any stitchers in the Akron area going to this show on Saturday? Drop me a line!

College visits: DD is a senior and we put off the college visits until this fall. Now we are tightly scheduled with visits. It's fun, but stressful planning it all. DD is interested in nutrition, food science and dietetics. If there are any readers out there involved in these fields, any feedback on careers, education, etc. would be helpful.

Thanks for stopping by!

Stash enhancement possibilities, pumpkins and bridges

I just love a good sale. See what's happening at Traditional Stitches. Can I resist? I have through Thursday to find out!

Fair week is over. DH and I only went for a couple of hours one lovely evening. Just enough time to check out the needlework, vegies and artwork. Dinner was french fries with lots of vinegar and salt. I resisted everything else, but I really really wanted some cotton candy!

DD had some of her drawings from last year exhibited. Her Brooklyn Bridge drawing is right under the word Wooster. Her art teacher selected it for a year long exhibition at the Board of Education building which was so very nice of her.

That's a big pumpkin Charlie Brown!

The family that grew this pumpkin is well known in this area for their prize winning pumpkins. This is small in comparison to others they have grown.

The attic beckoned

A lovely 60 degrees here today and where was I? In the attic! My friend and I are having a garage sale in a month and I wanted to work up there before it starts to get too hot to be up there. Bit by bit I am able to weed out stuff. Sometimes it takes years to decide to get rid of something.

I wish it was totally clean up there but I just can't bear to get rid of the Legos, K'nex, American Girl and Barbie dolls (and all the associated paraphernalia). If I have any advice for new parents, it is to not buy so much stuff!

We also have a lot of old stuff from my husband's parent's home. Lots of old Tonka trucks that are too precious to even think about selling. Every time DH comes back from out east, he has old army stuff, snowshoes and backpacks. I can only imagine how hard it is for his aunt who is trying to move and for his brother, who had to clear out the attic and basement of his mother's home. They never threw away anything!

DH doesn't like to throw stuff out either...I don't like clutter and I certainly don't want anyone else to have to deal with my detritus after I am gone.

No stitchy pictures today, but I am making good progress on Spring Has Come and will spend a couple of hours tonight working on it. I've been thinking about the BBD contest and may stitch that up next if I think I can get it done in time.

I'm off to another great place to be on a perfect day. The gym (yuck).

A little of this and that

Wow...haven't gotten much stitching done this week.

I have to give my husband lots of credit. He really does a lot of stuff around the house and now I am doing most of it! Not that's it so much work, but just a pain in the you know what. Hope he can be doing yard work in a month or so. We still have leaves on the lawn that didn't get raked up last fall! I'll have to describe his yard work methodology later. It's quite different from the norm.

DH is doing great. Off the pain killers except at night and against my wishes, went to work today. He works in a corn genetics lab but I think he'll be in his office and not at the bench today.

Today I am going to sew up this ornament, but first I need to find some twine for the hanger. I think this one calls for a rustic finish.

And last night I decided to start this so I pulled the floss and I'm trying to decide which linen to use.

I have all 4 charts now for this series. Hope I can get them all done this year! I really do love Prairie Schooler.

The stitches are on the hip and not on my linen!

I managed to get only a little stitching done while my husband was in surgery last Friday. I am really way behind! Didn't get my February ornament done for the 2009 Christmas Challenge, but I'm just a few stitches shy of finishing and then I'll do a simple finish.

Speaking of surgery, DH did just great! After only being in the hospital for a total of 3 days, he is now back home, on crutches (and lots of pain meds) and getting around pretty well. It will really be different having him home all the time...I'm sure you all can relate! He had a nice room with a view of Lake Erie, which was still full of ice, especially after this last cold snap.

I've been a little tired because of the stress, not only because of the surgery, but because my son in college far away from us, has been dealing with a lot of problems. I worry about him so much. I can see now that being a parent will never get easier! It isn't easy being 20 and trying to decide what you want out of life. I still haven't figured it out yet myself...

but I know that I want to start and complete all my new projects! Got my order in from Wasatch Needle Craft the other day. A good bargain on charts at 25% off! No more charts for me for awhile. I don't like having too many things lined up to do. It will make me feel overwhelmed. One thing at a time is my motto.

New stash:

• Prairie Schooler - Spring Has Come
• Prairie Schooler - Winter Wind
• Birds of a Feather - Bitter Flower Sampler
• La-D-Da - Leaping Cat
• Birds of a Feather - No Bees No Honey
• Carriage House Samplings - Flirt of a Feather

A happy stitchy day to all you wonderful stitching blogging companions!

Odds and Ends, literally

I think it's getting to be time to change out my blog...there is no snow left to be seen in our burg! Not that I think spring is here yet - there is bound to be more snow and cold - but the body and mind start to long for something different and fresh.

I'm feeling anxious about DH's surgery tomorrow. Can't imagine how he's feeling. I start thinking about living wills and malpractice and all kinds of unreasonable but not really unreasonable things. Neither of us have living wills or funeral plans...after all, we are only in our mid-50's. But it is never too early to think about these things. I'm sure they will ask about a living will tomorrow, so I think we will have a conversation tonight and maybe fill out some forms.

DH was lucky enough to get away for a few days to be at his mom's 90th birthday. It was a last minute thing, so DD and I couldn't go with him. I'm so glad he was able to be there at the old homestead in NH. He also got to ski for 3 days which made him extremely happy. I told him he could take a whole week next year and ski his heart out. The new hip should make it so much better for him to enjoy the sports that he loves.

Happy 90th Glennis Jones!

OK, enough family talk!

What I've been working on this week

LHN '04 JCS ornament

And what I purchased this week

My very 1st ever Silkweaver fabrics!

I need to finish up this ornament within the next couple of days for the 2009 Christmas Challenge and the fabrics were an impulse buy from their Odds & Ends page. I just received word from Wasatch Needlecraft that my Hoffman order is on its way. It was too hard to resist 25% off on the charts! It sure wasn't too hard to ditch my plan of buying for 1 project at a time!

Have a happy stitchy day!

A little happy dance for me!

I thought this would be such a quick stitch for me, but I generally way underestimate how quickly this slow stitcher stitches. And there were those days that I was just too tired (or depressed) to sit down with needle in hand.

Cat's Meow - The Drawn Thread
Cream Belfast linen
DMC + pearl cotton for mouse tails & beads for their noses

Hopefully I won't get the blues in the next few weeks because they will be challenging weeks. DH has his hip resurfacing surgery a week from today and it will mean a long drive back and forth to the Cleveland Clinic and of course dealing with so many unknowns. He won't be able to drive for 6 weeks or take a shower or bath for 2. Yuck.... We're just going to deal with it as it comes I guess. I hope he won't be in too much pain or discomfort. I don't think I would make a good nurse but maybe I'll surprise myself. I have only had to deal with the regular childhood illnesses, colds and flu and such.

This is what his new hip will look like

I'm going to be a bad, bad girl and start a new stitch today and neglect the housework. It's just one of those days, besides, it's snowing again and what better excuse do I need? :)

Car wrecks, kitty cats and a cat's meow

Not a heck of a lot of stitching goin' on here! I thought I would be done with Cat's Meow by now, but there were days that I didn't pick up the needle.

Been a bit preoccupied with household "stuff" this past week, one of them being the big wreck below. It's fixed now, but we still don't have the insurance check. DH had a lapse of concentration leaving work and had a little "fender bender" (his exact words to me). It's only a car, I told myself, but I was a little upset.

poor sad car...

I want to finish up Cat's Meow this weekend. This was a chart that I bought on impulse some years ago. It's something I probably wouldn't choose now, but it is cute and of course has cats, which is always good!

Speaking of cats, if you saw the photo of my cat Cheddar watching TV and you want to know what had caught her attention, it's this video.

If you're also wondering why my Maine Coon type cat has the name of Cheddar, it's because I let my son (he was about 14 at the time) choose the name. There is no rhyme or reason for it and the name stuck. We ADORE this kitty!

I'll be playing nursemaid in a couple of weeks since DH decided to go ahead with hip surgery. He originally thought he could put it off until next fall, but his hip has gotten so bad that he took the first surgery date they had. He is having a hip "resurfacing" instead of a hip replacement. This will enable him to hopefully be as active as he has always been. He's too young to give up the cycling, skiing, hockey and hiking. He needs to take up a nice sedentary hobby like needlework so he doesn't wear down those old bones!

Some favorite ornaments...

In the last frantic few days before Christmas I start to lose perspective and all reason goes out the window. I have spent too much (there may be returns to make!) and I get that nervous feeling that I have forgotten something. I didn't get my mom's gift sent out to her and I feel badly about it. I decided to give her a digital photo frame, but began to have second thoughts about it while choosing the photos to upload to it. Is this something she would appreciate or would it be much better to make albums, something I think I will never get around to. I am hoping my siblings will add to the photo frame, but don't know if they will do it.

So I am holding off for a few days, and she'll have a nice late present if I do decide to give it to her. Money seems so impersonal, but I know she really can use it. I am 450 miles away, so there is little that I can do on a day to day basis except to talk on the phone at length, about current events, books that we have read and about life in general. It was difficult growing up our home. Lots of negative stuff with my father mostly. Things are better now, but I pretty much keep my distance from everyone. I don't have strong family connections like so many others do. No big family dinners or parties or reunions. It's just the 4 of us, and now our oldest is away at college and he has decided not to come home over break. That's OK...he is becoming more independent and has found a niche for himself that revolves around school, his friends and mountain biking.

My goal for the next week is to be a better person. No nagging or nit picking allowed!!! Sometimes I don't know how my family stands me :).

Peace and joy to everyone,

Barb.